So it has not worked out. Couple of interviews with the Big 4 that I left thinking I did well on, but apparently I did not. So many questions, so many what ifs, so many “shoulda coulda woulda”s. Sad, disheartening and downright depressing.
This was it – one of my final chances. The closest I ever got. It seemed within my grasp and I somehow let it go. The past few days have been difficult. Very difficult, very hard. Its taken a toll on me for sure. The motivation for school, the way I am around people definitely changed. I have worked so hard for so many years to get in, and now its gone.
Not only that, so are the mid-sized…and apparently the good small firms as well. Shitty feeling. Every few days I have this internal fire light up that tells me to push forward, better and harder than before. But then, no results…another step back.
I know I have what it takes. I would not have made it to the interviews otherwise – and I am really happy for the opportunity I had. But man, why did I mess up?
So what next? Just keep at it…hopefully get into a small firm and make my way from there.
Sorry for such a shitty post, just needed to vent some more….